5th grade firsts

 I haven't been on here for a month?!  So much has happened!  Last month was intense.  I failed my Teaching Performance Assessment (40-50 page report filled with redundancies).  It's completely corrupt though, because twice as many people failed this quarter and it just happens to be the first quarter they are charging (175 friggen dollars) to resubmit?!  I think they said, "We need this much money, so we're going to fail this many people."  The program coordinator said I was right and it's not ok..."but you didn't hear me say that."  Dislike.

During all this retyping, resubmitting, max out my credit card with fees mumjo-jumbo, I was pulling my usual 20 hour days and had my last day of student teaching with the 5th graders.  I gave them these fishes and suckers, haha....

The kids cried.

A lot.  

I made the mistake of reading their goodbye notes to me during class.  I cried.  Then I laughed... 

because 

just LOOK at the hippie-haired giant they think I am....

Some awkward moments:

"Miss Runyan!  *so and so* won't stop farting!  We need some Fabreezio over here!!!"

It's true though, those boys were stinky.  

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"Miss Runyan . . . can I ask you a question?"

"Of course you may ask me a question." (yeah, I'm one of those)

"What's prostitution mean?"

*silence*

"That's not a school-appropriate question . . . ask your mom."

I usually tell kids to look it up in the dictionary when they ask me what a word means . . . thank God he didn't!

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"Miss Runyan, is it true that if you cut off your balls, you'll die?"

That one I just tried to pretend I didn't hear . . . oh man.

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Graham Cracker Boy was one of my favorites.  He wrote a whole story about Graham Crackerville with Mrs. Cracker, Mr. John Honey-Maide and the monster, *his name* Delicious.  Anyways, he came in at lunch the last day to tell me that everyone was crying and they wouldn't stop because they were sad I was leaving.  "Well, why aren't YOU crying, Graham Cracker Boy?"  

"Well . . . uhm . . . pffft . . . because I'm a MAN.  I'm too strong to cry!  Plus, my tears would just make my graham crackers soggy..."

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Next month I start in a first grade classroom.  Last time I was in a first grade classroom a kid put my braide in his mouth and started chewing . . . let's hope this goes better.